I must know

I must know
You are the smile on my lips
and the tears in my eyes
at the same moment
My heart is preparing
preparing to give out the love it withheld
while my mind tries
tries to steel itself for the worst to come

and you, you are the cause
the cause of the best that has happened to me
the cause of the worst that has happened to me
the cause of my smile
the cause of my tears

but I must know

now that my mind still holds something
something resembling the sanctity of sanity
and while my heart knows no despair
my mind is eating itself up in fear and doubt

My courage
my courage won’t falter
won’t falter in the face of endless horrors I must face alone
yet my courage turns to blind panic thinking of the question I have to ask

but I must know

I must know
When I saw you first you blew my mind away
when I saw you again it decided
then our eyes met
and everything changed

for better or worse
I must know